The Modern Woman's Mental Load: The Hidden Weight We Carry
In today's fast-paced world, women are achieving more than ever before—leading businesses, breaking glass ceilings, and carving out successful careers. Yet beneath the surface of this progress lies an often invisible burden—one that is rarely acknowledged but deeply felt. The mental load, the unseen work of managing households, families, and the daily logistics of life, continues to fall disproportionately on women's shoulders. This hidden weight is having a profound impact on women's mental wellbeing.
What is the Mental Load?
The mental load refers to the cognitive labour involved in organising, planning, and managing the countless tasks that keep life running smoothly. It’s not just about the practical tasks—like booking appointments, arranging childcare, or meal planning—but the constant, unseen mental checklist that runs through women’s minds day and night. As author Eve Rodsky so aptly puts it, "We expect women to work like they don't have children and raise children as if they don't work."
Despite greater equality in the workplace, studies consistently show that women still carry the majority of household mental labour. A 2024 study found that mothers are responsible for around 71% of household management tasks, from coordinating family schedules to remembering birthdays and keeping track of household supplies (Science Daily). This constant juggling of responsibilities—often alongside demanding careers—leaves women feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stretched to breaking point.
The Impact on Women's Mental Health
In the UK, the mental load disproportionately carried by women has been linked to adverse mental health outcomes. The British Medical Journal highlights that gendered social norms position women as primary caregivers, leading to a greater burden of unpaid work. This imbalance has been associated with increased risks of depression, anxiety, and other common mental disorders among women. BMJ
Additionally, a study published in the Archives of Women's Mental Health found that mothers are responsible for approximately 73% of cognitive household labor, while fathers account for about 27%. This imbalance often leads to increased stress and burnout among women. News Medical
These findings underscore the significant impact of the mental load on women's mental health in the UK, emphasising the need for equitable distribution of domestic responsibilities to alleviate this burden.
What makes the mental load particularly damaging is its invisibility. Unlike physical tasks, cognitive labour often goes unnoticed—both by society and by those closest to us. This lack of recognition can create feelings of frustration, loneliness, and even resentment, further exacerbating mental health struggles.
Why Women Carry the Mental Load
The roots of this imbalance run deep. Historically, women's primary role was within the home, supported by tight-knit communities where responsibilities were shared among family and neighbours. But as society has shifted—particularly with the rise of dual-income households and the breakdown of community networks—the expectation that women will manage the domestic sphere has endured, even while their roles outside the home have expanded.
In contrast, many ancient societies operated on a more communal model of living. Women raised children collectively, supported one another, and shared domestic tasks—offering a vital buffer against the isolation and pressure so many modern women experience. The loss of this community support system has left many women feeling they must do everything alone.
Breaking the Cycle
Recognising the mental load is the first step in alleviating its burden. Conversations around emotional and cognitive labour are finally gaining traction, thanks to the work of authors like Gemma Hartley, who writes, "Women are fed up because we've realised we can't clock out." However, true change requires more than just awareness—it demands a shift in both societal expectations and practical solutions.
Outsourcing, sharing tasks more equally with partners, and building support networks with other women are all crucial ways to ease the burden. As women, we must also challenge the ingrained belief that asking for help is a sign of failure rather than strength. Rebuilding the community spirit of the past—through women's circles, support groups, or even online networks—could offer a powerful antidote to the isolation and overwhelm that so many women feel today.
Moving Forward
The mental load is a quiet but relentless force, shaping the lives of countless women. By bringing this invisible labour into the light, we can begin to dismantle the expectation that women must carry the weight of the world alone. In future blogs, we'll explore how isolation, spirituality, and community play a role in women's mental wellbeing—and how reclaiming connection with one another may hold the key to lightening the load.
If you're feeling the weight of the mental load, know that you don't have to carry it alone. Seeking support is not a weakness—it's a radical act of self-care and a step towards creating a more balanced, connected way of living.